Upsized Fahrenheits

Ok. Ok. So suddenly there's a whole slate of documentaries that supposedly tell the truth about something or other.

First we have Fahrenheit 9/11 a show by Michael Moore. Mr Moore is a liberal bully boy. His Bowling for Columbine, was just irritating. Seriously, like there isn't enough liberal media out there. The Czech president came out saying it reminded him of old Communist propaganda. It's very important to know where the truth lies. Mr Moore is spreading his version of the story, just as President Bush is telling his own side of it. The truth usually lies somewhere between the two extremes. Be warned that Michael Moore is the left-wing equivalent of a fascist. It's surprising we don't really have a mean name for them. I mean "tree hugging hippie" just doesn't cut it as much as " Gun-touting fascist." Talk about language bias.

Then we have Supersize Me. A show that tells us exactly what we already know. I means seriously I always thought eating McDonald's will help me slim down. Like Jared from Subway. Who doesn't know fast food is bad for health. I swear that Burger King set this up, so McDonald's would have a public relations nightmare. But seriously, who eats 3 meals of McDonald's in a day for a whole month? I mean you got to get in your Burger King lunch and KFC dinner. What about MOS Burger?

Just eat Subway, they've been sprouting up all over. I mean Jared lost a lot of weight after a pure Subway Diet. Of course the small print says he did it with help from dieticians and fitness coaches. So really folks, just exercise. Forgot all the silly diets, eat healthy and exercise. Maybe one McDonald's a week. But 2 hours of exercise each day and eat healthy meals. You know, fruits and vegetables with some lean meat. Avoid the oily and fried. Simple stuff people. And can be found in Singapore. Drink water instead of Coke.

Maybe someone should do a "Fizz me up" movie. See what happens if you only drank Coke for a month. Actually I know people who only drink caffeinated drinks. I had a friend bounce off car walls one night. Easy on the caffeine folks.

Talking about Fahrenheit, has anyone read the book or watched the movie Fahrenheit 451. It's really a good book, highly ironic. Go read...

Ok, so King Arthur opens in Singapore. A lot of fanfare and reviews, but everyone seems to avoid To Kill a King. Seriously, I don't want to know more about King Arthur and his knights, who couldn't F@#%ing agree with one another, so the king has to build a round table to ensure all his petty knights are happy. Seriously, just go hire some Commando from Singapore. They specialise in cheating at IPPT and killing people during training. So what you do is hire them and send them to the enemy to work. The enemy's army will then be unfit and mostly dead. Hmmm... Maybe Singapore is already doing that.

I really want to watch To Kill a King, it's much better. But maybe our Clown... I mean, Crown Prince (you all know who it is) is worried about the implications. Afraid we all get ideas on how to kill a king and install a republic. Talking about the man, so Taiwan says he's there to mediate between China and Taiwan, but China says they don't need anyone to talk on their behalf. I thought he was on a private trip. Private trip also do work? No wonder they pay him $1 million a year.

Ok I got to go. Before the Imperial Sovereign Protectors (also known as ISD in Singapore), come and hang me from a noose or make me sit on an ice cube. So maybe the next time I post, I'll be in the Bahamas hiding out.