Some Cash with your Groceries, sir?

Ok. So I decided to try the whole NTUC cash back scheme. But the nice lady at the counter told me I could only draw in multiples of 50, so no $20 for me. Furthermore they charged $0.30 to use the system. What the hell?! Having tested out the system in the US, I know that I can draw any multiple of $10 I want from the cashier and there is no charge. Here's what I think... In a year NTUC will release a statement saying that they're scraping the system because Singaporeans do not want to use the system. Look... It's not that we don't want to use it, but YOU ALL ARE F#@KING RETARDS! Seriously, maybe you should study more models and realise that you can do it like everybody else.

Which brings me to our umbrella union, NTUC. Jeez... What union in the world owns cabs, grocery stores, pharmacies and sells insurance, but does little workers' action and protection? That's right folks, NTUC! Maybe they should build a NTUC building somewhere to house all of that. We can combine synergies. So this sick fella gets into a NTUC Comfort cab all coughing and whizzing. The cab driver will tell him how NTUC has cheap medicine and take him there, whether the sick guy wants it at all. So Sick Guy goes to NTUC pharmacy to get some panadol and cough syrup. Now the pharmacist tells him that he should get some insurance and directs him to the NTUC Income counter right next door. There the Sick Guy can buy medical insurance, health insurance, life insurance, just in case. You never know what. Then off Sick Guy goes to NTUC Fairprice to get groceries and maybe some stuff to make like bu soup. And with all those plastic bags and free gifts (from NTUC Income), Sick Guy can get back into NTUC Comfort cab to send him home. Imagine that... They could call it "NTUC Wonderland." Even better still they could sell him 4day/3night package to one of NTUC's Chalets. "Sick ah? Maybe you need holiday lah, why don't you book a holiday at our Chalets."

I think NTUC should go into budget airlines too. Like NTUC Air... "We serve you only the best from NTUC Fairprice, and we will send you to the airport by NTUC Comfort. Plus 10% off Travel insurance from NTUC Income." Synergies man! Synergies...